Thursday, April 28, 2011

April

This past month has been very hard on me emotionally.  I am getting close to 2 years in treatment & being sick.  I have been getting worse.  I KNOW in my gut it is because I have co-infections that are not being treated.  My CD 57 is high & has been high for a year, yet I am not improving.  This HAS to be co-infections.  My doctor won't treat me for Bartonella, which I suspect & have symptoms of.  I asked for Rifampin after Burrascano's last talk.  Rifampin treats Bartonella & it may also act as a cyst buster.  So a double whammy for me!  I can't take traditional cyst busters (flagyl or tinidazole) due to an allergy.  I was very disappointed at my last appointment.

I need to get an MRI on my brain
(waiting for insurance authorization) and an echo-cardiogram for my heart.  (Ugh!  I forgot to call around to find a place to get the echo done locally!)  I am able to get the MRI here in the city that I live in.  YAY!  I need to get that echo scheduled because I have been having heart issues & a sharp pain that feels like it's in the center of my heart.

Anyway, I am trying to work on being more positive.  I am usually very positive and my fellow lyme friends can always count on me to be their cheerleader.  I have a LOT going on in my family right now.  I just found out a few weeks ago that my DEARLY LOVED father has neck cancer.  He is undergoing intensive radiation & chemo.  My parents hid it from me because I had been in & out of the hospital so many times when they found out they didn't want to worry me.  Then I just found out my grandfather has colon cancer (just found out 3 days ago).  He just mentioned it casually to me in conversation.  He is 87 years old & put off the exam & so now it may be too late, he may be too sick to handle surgery or treatment.  I have been telling myself I need to get up North to see my grandfather.  I always think I'll feel better in a couple of months & can make it up.... but it never happens.  I need to get better and get some money together to see my grandpa and while I am up there, I hope to see Dr. Harris.

I want April to be over......

I will get the money together.  Things will get better for me.  Things will get better for all of us.  I will get the treatment that I need and deserve!!!  Everything always works out.  It will work out for me and for my family.
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