Life is Tough!

I didn't need to tell you life is tough.  Chances are if you're reading my blog, you already know it.

I need a break.  I need a break from worry, anxiety, stress, finances, side effects, depression, illness.

I have been praying for "us all".  I read somewhere that if you wish and or pray for good for everyone that will include yourself.

I hope no one minds if I vent a little......

I don't feel like I can take good enough care of my dogs.  I feel guilty.  I know things will turn around but it's so hard.  They are eating properly and good food, but they have issues they all need taken care of.  I am not about to give them away because I know the situation will turn around.  It's just a matter of time.  All poop may hit the fan before relief comes though.  It's just so hard.

I am still not well enough to leave the house.  I am finally up to my 2 doses of Alinia a day.  It affected me at first, minor herxing and then side effects from the Alinia.  Even if I felt good enough to leave my house I can't because of the GI issues.  Wondering how I am going to make it 1 hour and 15 minutes each way in a car to the doctor.  If all is well with me health wise, I plan to lay on the beach for a while that day as well.  He is 10 blocks from the ocean.

I am rambling and bouncing around mentally.  I am worried about my husband and his health.  It's not good.  The added stress and depression is not helping him.  I feel helpless and don't know what to do to help him.  I watched him breathing last night when he fell asleep.  Kept checking with my finger to make sure I could feel him breathing through his nostrils.