I had 10 days in a row where I actually LIVED. And I saw a very bright, shining light at the end of the tunnel. It has finally appeared. My own guarantee that I am getting better. Don't burst my bubble people, I truly believe that I will fully recover from this disease.
In the past 10 days, I have gone out to eat twice, I have had company over & cooked the entire meal, I have taken my dogs to the park numerous times, I watched my step son try out for baseball. I had a glass (or two) of wine, I showered instead of a bath, went to the grocery store, I did a ton of laundry, I cleaned my kitchen & the fireplace, my room, I vaccumed! I played the Wii. I left my house every day except for 1 and you know what else?????? I planned. I made possible plans for the spring & summer. I see myself being much better by then. In the past I haven't planned anything because I never knew how I would feel. Now, even though I have a misshapen booty with lumps in it (I'm hoping they'll go away with time), I am confident that my treatment is working so the pain & anxiety that the shots bring are worth it.
Ah, but those glorious 10 have come to an end. I knew they would, but once day 9 hit, I was thinking, hey, maybe this is it. Maybe I won't feel too badly anymore. But late last night as I sat in bed, my neck started to hurt & I was getting a headache. I hoped that when I woke up this morning it would all be gone. Nope. And as the morning wears on, it grows more & more intense. Oh well. But I don't get scared like I used to because it has gotten less severe as my treatment wears on. My body is tough and I am strong and I can beat this!!!