Monday, February 1, 2010

It was a glorious 10 days . . .

I had 10 days in a row where I actually LIVED.  And I saw a very bright, shining light at the end of the tunnel.  It has finally appeared.  My own guarantee that I am getting better.  Don't burst my bubble people, I truly believe that I will fully recover from this disease.

In the past 10 days, I have gone out to eat twice, I have had company over & cooked the entire meal, I have taken my dogs to the park numerous times, I watched my step son try out for baseball.  I had a glass (or two) of wine, I showered instead of a bath, went to the grocery store, I did a ton of laundry, I cleaned my kitchen & the fireplace, my room, I vaccumed!  I played the Wii.  I left my house every day except for 1 and you know what else??????  I planned.  I made possible plans for the spring & summer.  I see myself being much better by then.  In the past I haven't planned anything because I never knew how I would feel.  Now, even though I have a misshapen booty with lumps in it (I'm hoping they'll go away with time), I am confident that my treatment is working so the pain & anxiety that the shots bring are worth it.

Ah, but those glorious 10 have come to an end.  I knew they would, but once day 9 hit, I was thinking, hey, maybe this is it.  Maybe I won't feel too badly anymore.  But late last night as I sat in bed, my neck started to hurt & I was getting a headache.  I hoped that when I woke up this morning it would all be gone.  Nope.  And as the morning wears on, it grows more & more intense.  Oh well.  But I don't get scared like I used to because it has gotten less severe as my treatment wears on.  My body is tough and I am strong and I can beat this!!!
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