Things Are Getting Worse

I hate to be "Debbie Downer", however, things have gotten worse when it comes to my health.  I woke at 6am this morning (I usually sleep a lot longer) and didn't know why I was wide awake.  As I laid there trying to fall back to sleep, I noticed an odd back pain.  It was around my bra line.  It was pretty painful, but I just figured I needed to change positions.  Nope, it just got more intense.  I have had a lot of back pain in my life, but this was different.  This was not skeletal or muscular as usual.  It was just intense upper back pain.  I also started to feel sick.  I didn't feel "right".  So I woke up my husband and told him I wasn't feeling well.  He asked what was wrong, I told him my back hurt & asked him to rub it.  It didn't help.  I thought, maybe I just need to use the restroom.  At the same time, I started to get hot, so I asked my husband to find the thermometer.  I had a problem with my PiCC line while changing my dressing on Thursday.  Since I no longer have a nurse, it makes the weekly dressing changes scary.  My line hole was red & it's usually white like a callous.  It was also irritated. Concerning.  So I thought the way I felt could be that I possibly had sepsis.


Anyway, while my husband is in my closet looking for the thermometer in our medicine box.  I put on my sweat pants & socks & told him we needed to go to the ER.  I don't remember much after that, but vaguely remember my husband handing me the phone after he dialed 911 asking me to explain to them what I need.  I just gave them my address, told them I was sick & I had a PiCC line & I suspected sepsis.  Then they hung up on me.

My husband now tells me he got up to get dressed & I was kneeling on my knees or something because when he popped back in, I was on my back with one of my legs behind me, I had my eyes rolled back in my head, my face & body drenched in sweat, and he couldn't "wake me up".  I have fainted plenty of times in my life, however, I usually always remember going out.  I know it's going to happen, that's why I get on the floor.  This time, I don't recall it at all.  I just recall coming to looking to my right and seeing my husband over me and my vision came in before my hearing.  I then realized he was yelling at me.  And when coming to, I felt like I was waking up from a deep sleep & I thought I said to my husband, "Why are you yelling at me?"  But he says I never said that (I couldn't speak).  Then I saw the look on his face.  His face was beet read, his eyes were watery, and he was extremely concerned.  Ok.  Concerned is not the word.  He was scared to death.  He told me today he thought I was dying.  I THOUGHT I WAS DYING!  He was telling me something along the lines of "stay awake" but I started to go out again & I remember only seeing the ceiling.  I wanted to look at him, but my eyes wouldn't do what I asked it to do.  Not one part of my body would do anything that I wanted it to do.  He was asking me questions & I could see him but I couldn't respond or answer.  My eyes were OPEN.  My husband was back on the phone with 911 telling them to hurry.  They were already on their way.

I wasn't really afraid at this point, all fear had gone until I started coming out of it more.  Then my husband wanted me to walk down the stairs, but I couldn't even get up.  He pulled me up, wrapped my arms around his neck & as hard as I tried, my arms just flopped, he somehow got me down the stairs (I was able to speak at this time, I think, at least I was trying to tell him not to drop me).  He got me on the couch & was questioning me, "Do you know where you are?"  "Do you know your name?"  All I could do was point with my thumb at the couch, over and over.  I was on the darn couch!  The front door was open waiting for the paramedics.  It was cold, I was drenched in sweat, so then I started to get very cold.  And shivering & my teeth were chattering.

Later, my husband told me that my eyes were fluttering and my body was convulsing.  I thought I had just fainted.  My mom has seen me do this as well when I had a high fever back in 2004, but not to the extent that happened this morning.

By the time I am in the ambulance and they started an EKG, they had put a blanket on me, and I started to feel better.  I was just kind of out of it.  I could give them my social security number with no problem, but for the life of me couldn't remember my phone number.  I ended up giving them my husbands cell number.

I didn't know what happened & couldn't really tell the ER nurse.  I told them they needed to ask my husband.  I got another EKG there.  Then talked to the doctor briefly & was placed in a bed.  I was there for 6 hours.  Just being monitored.  They hooked me up to an IV (1000ml Sodium Chloride) & a machine that monitored my heart rate & oxygen levels, I over heard the nurse saying something about the back pain possibly being related to heart issues.  They took about 3 or 4 bottles of blood.  When I say bottles, I mean, they looked just like Tabasco bottles.  It was for a blood culture so that they can check to see if bacteria grows in my blood.  Takes 48-72 hours for results.  They took a chest X-ray, I think to make sure the PiCC line was still in the right place.

My husband decided to go home to let the dogs out to potty, get out of his pajamas & take a shower.  Well I finally spoke to the doctor again and my blood work & urine were stellar.  EKG, normal (always is).  I was ordered to get an Echo Cardiogram back in December, but never did it (money).  I will do it now.

Well, I am just feeling really weak now.  I feel "sick".  But that is nothing new.  I have a bad headache (nothing new).  And I took an hour nap on the couch after I got home this afternoon, that was nice.  I don't want to be left alone, so my husband promised to stay home with me this weekend.  The kids are at their aunts house visiting for the weekend.  I am just so frustrated and afraid about what's to come.  I need to change my treatment up.  This is obviously not working.  I have gone down hill yet again & can't get back to where I was this summer.  I can accept the fact that I will have lyme disease for the rest of my life, however, I would like to be able to hold a job so that I can help care for my family.  I would like to be able to drive the kids where they need to go, no matter how far, or take a trip to my doctors office by myself.  My husband is so busy, and he has so much on his plate dealing with me and the kids.  He is such a good man.  I am so lucky.  I know this wasn't what he signed up for.............