Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Friends

I haven't written for a few days because I have been herxing (I hope).  SUPER nausea.  2 nights ago was the worst!  2 hours of what felt like food poisoning.  I was so scared.  Anyway-

Friends.  Our "chosen" family.  These are the people we love & become part of our family.   They are there to make you laugh, celebrate with you, pick you up when you are down, give you a shoulder to cry on, to support you.  Often times, we are closer to some of our friends than we are to members of our own family.  Throughout most of my adult years, I moved to Idaho & I lived far away from my family.  My friends, naturally became my family.  I was also single then (and younger), as were most of my friends.

I just don't understand what has happened to my friendships.  Here I am going through such a hard time in my life.  Obviously the hardest time in my life.  I read on the forums & message boards that friends & family members often times "disappear" when you get Lyme Disease.   Friendship is a topic that I have wanted to write about here, but not sure how to approach it without offending people or hurting anyone's feelings.  But it is something that is on my mind.  I am just wondering what happened to all of my friends?

I found this "article" written by Kathy Cavert.  A long time Lyme Disease sufferer who has since passed away from her Lyme Disease.  It's called Psychosocial Issues of Lyme DiseasePlease click on the link & read it.  It really explains a lot about what people with Lyme Disease go through.   It explains a  lot about what I am going through. 

I guess what I am trying to say is I AM LONELY!!!!  I am pretty much home bound.  I may get out to a movie or stop off at a store every once in a while, but I am stuck at home because I am sick.  I just want someone to visit me sometimes.  Come by and watch a movie.  Or stop by for 10 or 15 minutes to say hello.  Or call me.  I have several friends that live within a 10 minute drive from my house (or closer).  I don't understand why no one comes over.  I have friends that live out of state.  They don't call or return calls.  Maybe we really aren't as good of friends as I thought we were.  Maybe they don't want to hear about me being sick.  But that's all I got going on right now.  I don't really go anywhere or do much these days.  I know everyone has their own  lives and there is a lot going on.  With the economy being bad, etc.  Uuuuggghhhh, now I am just feeling sorry for myself.  But what good is a blog if you can't be honest & truthful about what you are going through? 

To be quite honest, most of my friends haven't even read my blog.  Maybe they don't believe that I'm really sick.  That's what my husband thinks   Eh- they say you find out who your true friends really are when you are at your lowest. . . . .   Here is a quote from the UNDER OUR SKIN blog(an amazing documentary about Lyme Disease).  It is by one of the documentaries subjects & narrarator.  He later blogged about his life with Lyme. 

"If someone in your neighborhood gets cancer, people show up with casseroles. Neighbors organize to support the affected family. Family members come from all over to visit and sit by the bedside of the affected person. But when someone gets Lyme, often none of this happens, and the Lyme family is terribly alone."
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