I have to say that 2009 has been the worst year of my life. But then again, I was lucky to get married to my wonderful husband this year. So is it fair to say that this has been the worst year of my life? I wish I could do my wedding all over again. Being that I was sick and having cognitive & emotional issues due to the lyme, I was not "all there". I wish I could give it a go again with a clear head. I wish I wasn't so stressed out and could actually enjoy it. I wish I would've been able to enjoy my out of town guests more. I felt like I was going crazy and I am sure they thought I was too. Ah, I can't take it back. I hope they all understand that that was not really me they were dealing with. They were dealing with Lyme.
Aside from the lyme disease, I went through this period from February through April where I had extreme anxiety & panic attacks. Not sure if it was due to the lyme disease, since that is a symptom, or due to the stress of planning a wedding. It was very hard, and scary to say the least. But my soon to be husband stepped up to the plate and got me the help I needed to get through it. I went to biofeedback, to a cognitive therapist & tried other therapy. I learned how to deal with it and I got over it. I thought THAT was the worst thing to ever happen to me. Until lyme disease.
We'll never know how I got lyme. I truly don't think I was infected by a tick. I still think it was either a flea or a mosquito. But I'm going with the flea. I saw one at the foot of my bed when I was changing my sheets (I have 3 indoor dogs). I remember seeing a bite on my foot while walking with my neighbor Pauline early in the summer. In my heart, I think that's the one that did it. However, none of my dogs appear sick in any way. And dogs get lyme disease also. I worry about next flea season. I need to find a natural remedy that actually works. Two of my dogs are sensitive to topical treatment & I am skeptical about putting pesticides on them. But I worry about the rest of my family.
Goodbye to the year 2009 ... ... . thank God it's over.